Saturday, April 08, 2006

Tears stream...

Tears stream
Down your face
When you lose something
You cannot replace

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
To fix you.
Fix You- Coldplay

I should not drink three glasses of wine upon melancholia and 3 hours of T nagging and yelling and telling me how little he cares for me...
It just makes the tears stream
I hurt enough for myself, let alone for others...
Still, lights may guide me home, if I can focus enough to see them.
And if I remember that kindness matters and is the key to unlock the difficulties of life, maybe the hurt will lessen.
And maybe I can get myself fixed enough to continue to fix others...

"See the world as yourself
Have faith in the way things are
Love the world as your self
then you can care for all things."
Tao Te Ching: Lao-Tzu

and as we sang today in church (well I sang, most of the parents didn't know it..)
A new commandment I give unto you
To love one another as I have loved you
By this love you have for one another
everyone will know that you are my disciples.

So without this label of Christian
I'll be following the path of kindness and love
And if god is there, please show yourself! Don't hide!
I so want to see you...
But I do not need to see you to dance this dance.


Rosa_Mystica said...

I'm so sorry, Cat. Really.

I *hate* seeing you suffer like this. :(


Cat said...

Rosa, you are so sweet ans such a support when I know you too are feeling this.
*hugs* back...
I just need to be able to vent and even if I am the only person that reads this, it helps to express it and get it out.
I cope in the day, I do all that needs to be done, I laugh and joke and smile and hug and love and cry and just live.
And that is my aim, to live and dance and love...
And I am so grateful for your care and support...

Aaron. said...

Blessed are those who belive and do not see

:hug: :)
follow the path of love and it can lead only one place to Love himself our God

Cat said...

*hugs aaron
I miss you round CF
You (and Steph) better come back after lent or I'll cry...
I've put you both on my prayer lsit for Lourdes, by the way. I thought you wouldn't mind...
Anyone else want to go on- just ask.
Love from Cat

aaron said...


Mathaytace_Christou said...

Cat, I hope you don't mind someone you don't know that well hanging around your blog. If you want me to not post anymore that's fine.

But I'd like to put out an idea for you to consider.

Perhaps that longing you feel is God Himself. I have read many of your back posts and have noticed that you Thirst Deeply for the God you know.

I believe that you believe. I believe that even though you feel far from Him, in the back of your mind He is still there. You have stated that you still pray and talk with Him. As a Christian who believes in the Holy Ghost, I cannot help but think that this longing could be in itself an answer from God.