Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Because Maybe...

The fire in my heart is out...

I remember the last few times I've been to Lourdes.
That wait once there, to get down to the Grotto at night
The sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees
The Gave flowing past
The flickering candles, the smell of the wax
And the intensity of the prayers
Of others
Of mine

And the feeling that is was one of those places where heaven touched earth.

Where has that gone?
How did it go?
How could I lose that fire inside?
I didn't want to...
And am I now less a person because I'm not the same?
I've never felt that before, but something has made me realise that not everyone values you the same if you are not Christian
That if you are not Christian your thoughts and words and everything else are less valuable, to be put on the "reject" shelf.

Funny feeling.
Not part of the body anymore, cut off from the vine, withering and dying away

So off to Lourdes I go, full of doubts and angst and anxiety and pain.
Let's hope I find someone who is going to save me there, because I haven't found it elsewhere...


aaron said...

trust :)


prayers :)

Mathaytace_Christou said...


Rosa_Mystica said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rosa_Mystica said...

Hi Cat,

Don't you just "love" discrimination (*rolls eyes*)? I know I sure do (*shakes head in disgust*). Personally, I think that one reason your beliefs are frowned upon by some is that you reside in a predominantly Christian country. Heck, if you're not like the majority, then there must be something wrong with you! If you lived in the Middle East, you'd be attacked for not being Muslim! Stupid morons...

Personally, I think it's hypocritical how some Christians think that the concept of "judge not" is not applicable to them. Seriously- some of them act like they're God or something. Excuse me while I vomit! I do not need that sort of intolerance in my life- and neither do you. Don't let idiots dictate your self-worth, okay sweetie?

Many Hugs,

P.S. The deleted comment above was originally mine. I erased it b/c it didn't make any gramatical sense. ;)