The fire in my heart is out...
I remember the last few times I've been to Lourdes.
That wait once there, to get down to the Grotto at night
The sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees
The Gave flowing past
The flickering candles, the smell of the wax
And the intensity of the prayers
And the feeling that is was one of those places where heaven touched earth.
Where has that gone?
How did it go?
How could I lose that fire inside?
I didn't want to...
And am I now less a person because I'm not the same?
I've never felt that before, but something has made me realise that not everyone values you the same if you are not Christian
That if you are not Christian your thoughts and words and everything else are less valuable, to be put on the "reject" shelf.
Not part of the body anymore, cut off from the vine, withering and dying away
So off to Lourdes I go, full of doubts and angst and anxiety and pain.
Let's hope I find someone who is going to save me there, because I haven't found it elsewhere...