Lourdes 7- Has anyone seen the ambilift?

So woken at 5.15am, no point going back to bed. We had to leave the hotel at 7am and that was pushing things a bit. My, R and V and I ran round like headless chickens as Matt laughed and demanded we put on "Kong" again.
Well, My and I ran, V & R, having gone to bed at 5am were extremely reluctant to do anything and I had to put on my stern voice...
But R got us all breakfast and the packing and medical bits done, we got on the coach and headed to the airport.
Hel came towards me there with a worried look.
"Don't tell anyone, but the plane's not left Manchester (its base.)
It was taxi-ing on the runway when a warning light came on and was waiting to be checked by the engineers.
People have had 12 hour delays before...

So I didn't tell anyone till the news came through that there would be at least 5 hours delay.
I did my round of the groups, checking out the feeds and meds situation.
Several children were on continuous feeds and bags were unpacked to ensure all was there for them.
Group 73, as ever, came up trumps, with Han and Mw inventing a game that the mobile ones played all through the delay.
With a brief break for lunch.
All took it in turns to walk Alice and Matt watched his DVD which we had decided not to pack and also played monopoly.
I was glad I hadn't objected too strongly to carrying it.
When finally we got to the plane, several of the youngsters were begining to get tired
The helpers weren't much better...
I doled out advice and sympathy and with the efforts of the helpers, the plane took off with no tears and landed on time.

There was then another delay- 45 minutes before any piece of luggage was removed from the plane.
One and a half hours before all the wheelchair children were off...
The ambilift was nowhere to be seen and chairs had to be carried up to the plane so we could use the arm to get them off...

Tempers were fraying.
M, the regional chair ( aka hubbie) was rung by me and asked to do what he could, but no one could move things on...

Finally, children and parents were reunited and I could go home with hubbie and Grandma
She had been out in Lourdes with another group.

And I got to hug and see my beloved children again.
Well one of them.
True to form, T wouldn't have it, while Mw hugged and hugged and hugged.

So what did I learn this week?
I'm not sure, I think time alone will tell...

But my dear friends both here and in real life...
I did not get my faith back.
It came nowhere close to that.
I know that was what M hoped and what others did too, my mother, my father, family, friends...
But it didn't happen.

And I have just to get on with things now, like living and loving
Because although I cannot see God, I can see that is a good way to live
It is the way I want to live and a way that makes you happy, even through pain.
I feel as though I have let people down, but I still cannot see.

It is as if I am now colour blind.
You all out there can see the green from the blue, I can no longer...

I'm sorry, but I cannot and will not lie to you or let you think that something happened when it did not.
I wish in my heart that it had, that I would get a revelation and I prayed one afternoon for something to come, but it didn't.

So here I am, still an atheist.
I hope we can still be friends...