I can talk to hubbie
At least, I talk, he listens, although he did get a bit forceful with me today over the matter of faith
He reckons I believe on faith just as much as he does, that neither of us have proof.
He may be right.
But he also knows I cannot force myself to believe.
So yesterday I visited my parents, my brother, wife and child were visiting.
And of course, church came up
"When are you going to church this weekend" she asked
I rapidly thought:
1.Mother has not told them
2. Do I lie or do I just tell the truth
I went for the truth.
There was an awkward silence...
Nothing else was said until later
As I went to leave, SIL followed me and asked me what was happening.
I was too upset to talk and said I couldn't talk about it.
So she rang me today, wanting to know what was wrong.
"I realise I don't know you like I thought I did." she said.
I couldn't talk to her about it- I was in the bath, I hadn't slept much and I just couldn't get the words out.
So she's going to email me something she wants me to read and wants me to reply, telling her what is wrong.
She also told me my mother cried after I left...
I hate all this.