Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Circles

I did write a post about circles, but it disappeared.
Things go round in circles, I mused and told the old joke about the little girl who said to her cruel mummy
"Why do I keep going round in circles?"
Cruel mummy: "Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor"
Now when I was little, with two brothers of the tormenting sort, that seemed so funny (based as it was on a truly awful advert for washing up liquid.)
But now I feel like someone has nailed my foot to the floor and I'm going round in circles.
About hell, about belief, about everything and getting nowhere fast.
And I'm so fed up with reactions to my disbelief-
I think too much, or worse still, I never really believed, never had faith in the first place.
I was a weak, wishy washy Christian and and cafeteria type catholic.

But today these circles seem less important.
I can't really post about it, but things went badly wrong in work today and I was left ruminating on things that were done and on the finality that some acts are.
Choices are difficult things sometime, we act on the best information we have and yet it is often not good enough.
And when decisions end up like they did, the sadness can be overwhelming.
But everyone was so sweet and I just got on with things
In the sad but certain knowledge that this isn't the first time and will not be the last.
Sleep sweetly, my friends...

1 comment:

Stormy said...

Have you ever considered that the reason you walk in circles is because God has not let go of you. I pray that one day you will be healed.