Saturday, March 11, 2006

"We are never broken"

Last weekend, M and I were talking to matt about life, the universe and everything. I had been reading a book by the Dali Lama, which I've quoted something before and it said a lot about kindness being important. Now it's a longstanding joke between M and me that when we first were together one day, I asked him, in the typical way young lovers do: "Why do you love me?"
Being a man, he failed to understand that he should produce a romantic, poetic response and replied, "Because you're kind.."
At the time I almost took exception to this, but now it seems such an important thing to me that I still hold onto this ability that I seem to have been given.

So yesterday we went shopping and I brought a Jewel CD which had "Hands" on it. And for the first time read the song that features the words "In the end, only kindeness matters."
Google it and read it if you can.
The start smothered me with these words...

"If I could tell the world just one thing, its that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair.
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear."

And as the smothering lifted and I could breathe again, I thought, I am not going to be made useless by what has happened here and I am not going to be idle with despair.
I may not be going to get down on my knees and pray, but I don't have to have this magic thing called faith to be "God's hands, God's heart, God's mind" in this world
I have not been broken and I am not going to be broken by this.
And in the end, kindness matters and that is my start
And if God is there, he'll find me, I won't even have to look.
Like Carlo Carretto said, he will surprise me...

"I have behaved like a man who travels over mountains and seas to look for a treasure then returns home exhausted and discovers to his suprise that God is in his house....In my house, in Mother Teresa's house, in Martin Luther King's house, in Roger Schutz's house, in Follerau's house.
As He is a hidden God, no one sees Him, but everyone seeks Him because everyone longs to see Him.
The whole business is extraordinarily interesting!

But while I'm thinking about the best way of discovering God, of seeing God, Mother Teresa goes out on the streets and sees someone dying without help. She does not rationalise or theorize...she comforts, she gives him water to drink, "I want him to die knowing a friend is near."

"God reveals himself where there is anyone who respects life, who desires the light, who seeks to love. Every time you open yourself to life, every time you act the truth, every time you love, God is in your actions."

"By doing things as Jesus would do them, as God would do them, you free God from the veils of invisibility and make Him visible on man's journey."

If I do things as Jesus would do them, the Jesus shown by his words, not the interpretations others would put on them, then maybe, just maybe, the invisible will become visible again. I don't know, but I'm prepared to risk it...


faerieeva said...

*smiles warmly* You can not ever lose by imitating Jesus. The worst that can happen is that you find him a kind man... and a good example... the best is what I pray for. The you may see again with new eyes. You'll never get back the old faith, Cat. But you might get a new one, different and giving much more than you could have dreamt.

I do not know what will happen, but kindness... Charity is one of the best things to center your life around: The great commandment exists of two parts, and the second is to love your neighbour as yourself. It's a wonderful way to start: loving yourself and your neighbour!

faerieeva said...

*rereads and just hugs you*

Had a difficult evening here. Your post tonight has been a blessing and a light to me. I'm going to cherish it!

Thank you so much for being my friend, Cat!

Cat said...

*hugs* back!
I'm glad it helped...