Crying in the chapel

You saw me crying in the chapel
The tears I shed were tears of joy.....

I wish mine were
Mine are tears of hopelessness, despair, totally joyless
Tears of shame and humiliation
Tears of self pity
And a feeling so chronically empty and useless that I have no idea if it will go

I know it will
I know feelings do not last
But the last few days have taught me how fragile my mental state actually is and how I should be taking more care of it....
I am but a fool

I can't wait for M to come home.....